First Day back to Work!

Today was my first day back to work, since right before Christmas. Wow, I thought that I would be okay. I remember when I went to Dad's house, I just could not believe that I misplaced Wayne's ATM cards. Right now, the family is in need of some funds to take care of my brother. I went to the apartment yesterday, and as I said before, that there really is alot of old mail, and junk to go through. There has been alittle bit more information, so it has made things just a little easier. I sound a bit confused, here, don't I ?

This morning when I started to get ready for work, I was thinking that I should bring a garbage back out there and just put, at least all of the newspaapers, and then well... Pretty much just get myself phyched out to get to work. I lost my DL... OMG>>>>>>>>>>>> I looked every where, pretty much tore up my room. I was frantic, cuz I have not been driving, and well, I just like to know that I am legal, if I were to ever got stopped. People that have never got therr driving PRIVALEDGES taken away, do not know what its like.

Anyways, I went out to the car after I started to freak out inside. I insisted that that knew I had my license on me last night when I got home. Anyways, I called the job, and told them what was happening. I was starting to wonder if I was even going to be any kind of capable of working. Well, I found my DL in the car, in the manilla envelope that I thought I had the ATM"S in.. and found the ATM's on the floorboard of the car. .... what a relief.

It felt good to be back at work, and well, I did have my moments, so, it kinda weird. I know that any kind of normalsy of me probably isn't real normal, and I am glad that they understand. My manager has not been back yet, so I do not even know that she does not even know what is going on. I did send her an email the other day, and well, explained to her what was happening.

I think I am having a hard time, that there really is not going to be any kind of service for my Bro. He said that he wanted it simple, but, I think that simple meant at least cousins and close friends. You know ? I do not feel like there is that final closure. They (sister &Bro) say that Dad does not want to have anything, But I think that Dad needs to have that closure too. I was going to call one of my cousins this evening, who happens to be a pastor. I feel like I really cannot really talk to anyone.. well, I do not have anyone to 'mourn' with, or to talk to about my brother. This cousin that I am talking about is also one that was close to me and my brother... .it was him and his older brother, and me and mine , that were considered the BLACK SHEEP of the family...LOL. Even when we have gotten together, more recently, it just seems that we can still remember how everyone thought that us four were soooooooooo BAD!!! So Bad, that my grandmother, said, no matter what, she (me) is the one with the biggest heart. Yea, I was really surprised when someone told me that. I can be the BLACK SHEEP, but a black sheep with a good heart. :))

Anyways, I think I will call my cousin Ed, tomorrow, and just talk. Maybe he will know how to handle this, Then there are the cousins that we have in Georgia! Yepp you got that one right. At one of the weddings many moons ago, My Mom's stepsister, came up from Georgia, and you know, LOLOL, it struck me so funny, an old Chinese lady... with a Soutern DRaw, telling me that I ought to go down there and visit her sometime! That would be Augusta, GA! Yes, ma'am!

Anyways, enough for now. I went through more papers tonight that I found in the car, and actually found some insurance papers. I have to check it out. What I was actually reading was... an offer to ADD on to his current policy... So I do not know. Gosh, he really had alot of offers and information on insurance, but I suppose that really s a good thing, you know ? Anyways, I am gonna read alittle bit, and just try to get some rest. I suppose, I will be like this, til I feel comfortable enough to be,,,,,,,,,,,, regular ?

PE@CE!