Here for now, There for later?

Well, I just wanted to say that things are happening so fast that I did not even realize how close were are... to the holiday....!!! I will be looking for a place pretty soon... and well, I know that this past year has really been a trying year for me, and I am glad that I have advanced to where I am now! I still have a long way to go.....
Today I made an appointment for my brother, for the Eye Doctors! I have been on the phone for what always seems to be too long to be on the phone, at least on the job. My brother, Stan, decided he wanted to go shopping at Costco! Whew! Any of you know what Costco is? Buying in bulk.. and all that kind of stuff. We were reading all the labels to check the sodium and sugar levels!

Oh, yes, I decided to work this weeks 49er game :)). Finally! I know that this year has been a rough one for us, but you know ??? They are still the NINERS. They will be playing the Cincinnatti Bengals! and its on a Saturday!

Yes, I am still here!!

I just found this and here I am blogging!! UNBELIEVABLE! Anyways, I am still working and getting things together! Recently my brother... My younger brother decided to have a stoke on me... well... I am glad that he was with me when alot of this happened! i have been working and being with my brother in the past month! I tell you... I do not know if I am coming or going.. I will write more tomorrow! I think I actually have a day off, from.. not only Alcatraz, but from hospitals, therapy and all that good stuff....

PEACE!

Laura

Cow Palace cancelled but Bridge School...

Well, last weekend, I went out to the Cow Palace, just to find out that the event was Canceled! I did not want to work that day, but I put all of my gumtion into going and at least showing up. How strange that was, because I also had a dream that I was eating a Burito, and my son actually treated me to a Burito that day... LOL

I am looking forward to this weekend. It is the Bridge School Benefit Concert at the Shoreline! Its going on for the whole weekend and I will be working the whole event! I have been kind of looking forward to this weekend for some time now, and YIKES!! its here! It seems like I have alot of paperwork and some reseaching to do! I have to fill out the insurance papers for work and have to turn it in on my day off. How fair does that sound? No, I am not complaining, its just that I am not in the mood to do that kind of research! I think Human resources is going to available about 2 o'clock this afternoon.

OH, and I finally got it all straightened out with good ole DMV and now I am a valid Californa Driver! Name changes, and all that stuffs...seems to have gotten in the way!

I should call her and find out more on whats going on!

PEACE!

Bummer about Eddie Vedder!

The other day, I heard on the radio that Eddie Vedder had to cancel the Bridge School Benefit due to personal family issues. I hope all is well for him, I understand how that..'personal family' thing is so important. Anyways..Gotta jet for now.... Something happening at the Cow Palace .. some Wrestling thing ! Well.. I'll Be .. All of a sudden some my pics turned nto ORIG files... hmmmm .... PEACE

Motherdeva's Mind Squirts: Just trying something out!

Motherdeva's Mind Squirts: Just trying something out!

Just trying something out!

Well, I hope you all ave been patient with me! I know that I have not been postng very much lately. I have been very busy, and I do not know if I mentioned earlier on this blog if I would have pics of the Air Show what was in town... earlier this month. Well, If I did not, well, you will have the pleasure of reviewing some nteresting pics, and It would be nice if I could get a YAY or NAY on this... I know that slideshows are not really a big deal, ...

Eh, I have been working with pictures, as well... Hope to hear from you...!!

PEACE!

Just a Tad of the Air Show!

Patiently, I await for the Bridge School Benefit!

One day I wrote about this mailbox! I thought it was quite cool the way it was 'designed'. Because of schedules and other activities going on, I had not been to this particular bus stop for a few minutes, and I came across the same bus stop earlier this week, and I was so disappointed that the art was taken off of it! I thought, well, my goodness, now, I can almost imagine that there must be a law against someone creating art on a MailBox! Is there? Hmmmm, I am starting to wonder now!

Well, I am back, and well, I found out that the MailBox is in reference to R2D2, Star Wars! Yes! Well, I was told that the art had to be taken off of the mail box, because, someone would soon steal the mail box!! Hello??? Did I just write that thought out loud??? What a shame, huh? Art, I thought is something that needs to be shared as well as appreciated! Eh, who am I, but the naive person that there are still picket fences?

Shoreline is about ready to close down for the season, with Neil Young's Bridge School Benefit Concert.. Coming up! That is still another two weekends away!!! Did you catch the line up on that? (21st Annual Bridge School Benefit with Neil Young, Metallica, Jerry Lee Lewis, Eddie Vedder with Flea and Jack Irons,Tom Waits with Kronos Quartet,John Mayer, Tegan and Sara, Regina Spektor)! Now, with that said, I decided to give CSC a call to see if there was anything happening this weekend, as far as events!

Oh yes, by the way, I decided to split my days off, and have Tuesday, and then Saturdays off... I may be able to catch some work for CSC on the weekends. Not bad, huh? Yea, I was starting to wonder why I was putting myself through... That EVENT stuff.. alot of abuse, to the body... But I miss it so when I am not doing event staffing!! Tomorrow, at the San Mateo Event Expo, there is an Indian Concert going on, and ... uh... Drag racing! Someone asked me... Indian.. as in American Indian, I do believe... said Nope.. more like Eastern Indian!! Hmmmm I have never been to an event like this one.. but I did hear from some people that worked at Shoreline that said that they had enjoyed themselves last year. .I guess the event was at Shoreline last year... and Drag racing .... hmmmmm ... Wondering how that is gonna be!! You know ???

PEACE!

Steve Miller takes the Cake

Well, I actually attended a concert at Shoreline last night, and I had such a good time . There was alot of talent that crossed that stage.. It unbelievable!! After the concert, I went into my supervisors office and told her that I probably could not have worked last night and stayed a good usher!! LOL I mean, that I was so mezmerized with the music... Many guitar solos, harp solos, It was AWESOME!! My daughter and I like to make it to at least one concert a year of our liking.. and we just go and have a good time, and we did, last night! There was also, Big Brother and the Holding Company with THC, The Greg Kihn Band, The Doobie Brothers, and of course, The Steve Miller Band! A hellava show! I tell you, The Doobie Brothers, still got it in them. Steve Miller Band played so many different genre of music, plus their old stuff, how can you not enjoy? The seats we had were perfect! The only bad thing was that the couple behind us... were a bunch of rootie poots! WE got up to dance, errr, my daughter did at one point, and the gentleman decided to tap on her shoulder to mention that she was standing at the concert....HELLOOOOOO!!!??? I could not believe that! But then again, I could, only because I am an usher, and I have had that complaint brought to my attention before. What are you supposed to do?? They really could not say anything when everyone in the crowd decided to get up and groove to the music... Hee Hee Hee... Yup!

I accepted the position at Alcatraz as a seasonal worker, and just within these last couple of day, they offered me a full time position, that includes benefits, and all that good stuff!! I am happy right now! And I want to do either ushering, or event staff! I realized though, that I really cannot do alot of that, my weekends.. or my days off is Tuesday and Wednesday... So when I am doing concerts, I could probably do one concert a weekend, instead of tryng to get them all in!

Anyways, I just wanted to keep up alittle bit.. Seems like I have so much to say, but right my energy level is not so good...doing my shifts at Alcatraz, and then these couple of days, there has been concerts!!

PEACE!

Its Been a MONTH already?

Well, I know that I have been busy.. but WOW! I was working for the Grand Prix, I see! and yes, it started to get busy after that! I do want to say that I am doing 40+ hours.. I am now working in the bookstore for Alcatraz... Yes, ALCATRAZ...as in the Island! I started there about two weeks ago, and also have stayed with the event staffing thing! No wonder.. Have I had time to even write?? How about sleep? He he He....

I am in alot of training, I am finding that I am in awe when I go to work! This is one place that I can say that I am learning something new everyday!! The first day that I was there, I did take the Audio Tour, and as a Native of San Francisco, I think I should have known this stuff, you know?

Anyways, I just wanted to let you know what I have been up to.... ALOT.. I will be back... I am just checking in ; And Ahhhh yes, Toby Keith tonight at the Shoreline!!

PEACE!

San Jose Grand Prix Third Annual!

This is the Pace Car for the San Jose Grand Prix this year. I had the opportunity to work this event, and I had a good time! It was hot, muggy, and wow! Here is more detail on how my weekend went on
that event!Coolmama says more about this at .... http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-6.l_q0cydKnw_Ket5wMQDJ.PT_Vndw--?cq=1&p=387 !

I also worked at Shoreline on Sunday for the Projekt Revolution!! That concert was rocking and it was Loud! I still did not need to wear my ear plugs.. So, in realty, not too loud! ;) Linkin Park had the crowd rocking, dancing, on their seats... standing... and so on and so on!! Chemical Romance also... had the place rocking! :( Unfortunatly, I was not able to watch the other bands... .I had to check tickets! There seemed like there was alot going on at that time in the section that I was assigned to! By the time I was able to stand for a second and watch the show... Uh, yes, Chemical Romance was already on stage. As I was listening... and not knowing which band was on stage... I definately enjoyed the music!

Well, will it be Alcatraz.. or will it be... Uh,... Working at the forty niner training camp? The person that I interviewed with... called me and was having a hard time verifying my employment records! He needed an Employer number... and well, I don't do that kind of stuff... so I called someone to find out how this thing is done! Seems like its a very very corporate thing. I went to the website that they were refering to... and the social security number they also need to verify! I am not too sure how that works... and I am not sure I really like that idea either. O well...Anyways.. gotta run! Gotta study a bit.. Tomorrow is RUSH at the Shoreline.. and well... The niner Training camp coming up friday and into next week!

PEACE!!

Wow...Its Wednesday After....

Well, this past weekend... It was busy.. it was awesome! Had oZZfest in town, and I did work as an usher to this event. It was the first time that I have ever seen Ozzy.. I am glad that I can say that I did him live!! I have always like Black Sabbath's music from back in the day. I remember when my cousin used to play his guitar, and I was just listening... Room was filled with black light posters, and of course the Black Light used to be on all the time!

The next night was the 'Bone Bash'! Now, that is what I call a concert! We had Laidlaw, Pat Travers, Kenny Wayne Sheppard, AND Lynard Skynard! Yessireee!! It was happening... iT WAS awesome... and I was there!! It appeared that we had a southern rock event here in the San Francisco Bay area! Its these concerts that I know, and are more famliar with! I enjoyed every single minute of my time listening to these groups play. I was dancing, I was screaming, along with the guests, I was dancing at my post! Reminds me of the concerts that I used to go to.. back in the day! Wooo hooooo!

A nice mellow concert to end this series of events.... The Fray, Gomez, and Eisley! The music was mellow, the guests looked they were enjoyng temselves! A good one to wnd down on!! Anyways. I am prepping myself for this upcoming weekend.. San jose Grand Prix is happening, and also on Sunday, Projekt Revolution is going on with a bunch of groups...Projekt Revolution Tour with Linkin Park, My Chemical Romance, Taking Back Sunday, HIM, Julien-K, Placebo, Mindless Self Indulgence, The Bled, Styles of Beyond

PEACE!

Just a Pic to show

that I am still here... but has been really busy! Things are happening at a rate of not even having enough to think, let alone time to post!

PEACE!

Seems as though....

Yesterday I had a surprise of my life! My daughter and I decided to go to the early Farmers Market; It was Wednesday! Anyways, I parked the car... and we started to walk through the area where the booths are, looking at all the fresh fruit and vegetables! We picked up a few things and started to go back to the car.
As we started to approach the car, and even getting in... all of a sudden there was an officer at my window showing me a badge.. of course I showed him my ID... and my daughter and I were talking about the evening I had before, I had worked th Gwen Stefani concert. He asked whose 'Disabilty placard' this belonged to.. I said my brother. I was really surprised that this was happening... I was at a metered slot. and I remember my daughter saying that she waould put money in the meter... ok....

I guess the meter ran out...Yikes.... and I was given a ticket for misuse of a DP... more when I ger back... gotta move the car...LOL.. I am fighting this 500 dollar ticket!

PEACE!

Where did it Go?

I just wanted to post on this blogg today. I have not really been up to par lately! I know that I have not put my health as my first priority, and have started to feel the effects of it. I am starting to feel better, in the past couple of days, and have been checking my sugar levels as often as I can.

I have also been trying to get some work in, so that I can do the things that I need to do. I have found that being off work, seems like I have less time to do the things that I need to do. Silly, isn't it?

This weekend, at Shoreline Amphitheater, a local radio station LIVE105, is hosting a BFD concert, and I will be working that concert. Its alternative Rock...Some that I like alot, and some... well.... I often wondered... Really? There could be.. Alternative to Rock N Roll? LOL... just kidding. I am looking foreward to this weekend also, will be Charlie Daniels playing at Shoreline as well. I am ushering, and I enjoy seeing the different people that are out to have a good time at the concerts.

Anyways, I have things to get ready, and things to look up.... soooo off, I go. Will report anything that might be out of the ordinary... ;)

PE@CE!

30 years ago....Today!

It has been exactly thirty years ago today... about 1 hour and 15 min ago, I gave birth do my daughter! Wow, it seems like a long time, but really it is not! I know that I have been trying to keep my spirits up for this reason. I know that there has been alot going on in my mind... lately, and I know that I wanted to post about it.. but.. something wasn't quite right... about my feelings about writing.

My mom called yesterday, saying that they finally got the Life insurance check, and she kinda wanted me to go there, but, I know I was not ready for this. (another closure thing)... I have a couple interviews to go to.. and wow.. A rep for an agency that represents Grainger called me, and asked if I still wanted to work for Grainger. Now, That blew my mind, Although the position would be here in South San Francisco! How about that?? Actually, I like that idea!

My daughter and her B/F decided to go to a motel to spend her birthday! It feels weird here... alone... but I do have that interview tomorrow. I will be having breakfast with my friend Bridget... she also has an interview... close to where I have the interview!

Ahhhh yes... I did attend the orientation at Shoreline, and Yes, I do work this friday.. and Saturday. It was a four hour orientation... I did not expect that, but I am glad that I went through it. It really made me think of this place in a different view, but I think I will like it. It has alot to do with crowd control... yet...in a kindly fashion, so to speak. OH yes, I even picked up some side work, helping out an Accountant... doing alot of her posting of receipts! Thats kewl, I think. I do have the various skills!

Anyways, I've been wanting to check in, and I need to be getting ready for that interview. What should I wear??? LOL... anyways,,, I am still around... and I do miss blogging... I have been getting some Auto Quotes.. its about that time!

PEACE!

I know its Wednesday... Can you believe?

We were late by 15 min for the orientation, unbelievable.... I think I know why they have it set up to have 2 of those orientations set up! I know that the we were not the only ones that were late.... It was mainly to let employees know that time is very important in this field.

When they say to show up at 11:00 they mean 11... not 11:05.... or 11:15 !Anyways... I did find out that one you are an employee of 'Live Nation'.. that you can actually work at the other locations where they may be sponsoring events. That will be awesome! I am still excited... and I told my son.. that if he is not ready to go when I get there at 10A... I will not have him or any of his friends to be getting in my way of something that I have wanted to do. Like I said, I did not even care what my salary was going to be! :)
I am not going to wait for anyone.. whoever is gonna go... best be ready to get into the car when I pull up.... thats it! Anyways... I have been kind of bummed about it.. and well... just that I feel like I am going through exactly what I was going through just a week ago! I should be looking through the venues and picking just which event I will be working!!

PE@CE!

Yes, its been a while

Tomorrow there is an orientation for the Shoreline Amphithreater! That is one of the threaters that have concerts in this area. Lately you all know that I have been looking for work.. and yes, I have had my good days and my bad days! I did decide to take on a seasonal position at Shoreline, and I am an usher. Which tells me that it should probably be in VIP area, or at least in the seated area! I am excited about this.. and I got some people in there as well that are excited about geting back to work. That is a good feeling!

Anyways, I know as well, that this may not be a big paying position, but do you know that when I went to the job fair a couple of weeks ago, that I did not care what I was to paid an hour. I know that this is what I wanted to do this summer! I will keep you all posted

PEACE!

Motherdeva's Mind Squirts: I hope this might be right

Motherdeva's Mind Squirts: I hope this might be right

Time Going By ...So Soon?

Wow,this week has gone by.. or going by so fast. Unbelievable!! Either I am just having too much fun (I doubt that), or that I have been real busy! I have been doing the work search in, and even interviewing! I have had to run down to San Jose a couple of times already.. and I may be tired! Today, I went down there, and well, all that I needed to accomplish there was not done! I did, however have a nice day. I helped out a friend, and we did spend some time together, and that was nice! I knew that Danny had to take care of some business, So I really did not expect to spend any time with him,really!
We had lunch, and he had an appointment this afternoon, so I took him to his appointment! After that, we spent some time in the park, and just little stuffs like that. It was nice, and was asked to spend more time with him, this Friday evening ;)
I liked that idea, and told him so! What I really wanted to post about was on my mind, but then .. you see, this guy Danny here, just kept popping into my head.... So what I wanted to write about.. I will in another post! And this is to remind me: About Bryan and his trials and tribulations with EHC, and my opinion on his matter and how it effected me this week.

PE@CE!

I hope this might be right

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Sine I cannot get this little thing onto my blogg on mySpace, I am going to post it on here and hopefully can link it over and viced versa... So here is the link for http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog&pop=1&ping=1&indicate=1"

So that you will can somehow all come together

PEACE!

Feels Good to Be...'Normal'?

I know that technically it is Sunday, But I wanted to share something today. I had a very good day today.. and that would be referring to Saturday. I had a great time with my friend Bridget... I spent the day with her on Friday. I have known Bridget since I was 14 years old. I know that it is still considered the Bay Area.. From San Francisco to San Jose... but lots of times.. that much distance can make a difference.

I am glad that I am able to see her and Dilly more frequently... even tho.. we know that we each have our own lives.. its soooo good to ge together with them... when ever we do. Dilly, (Diane) I have known Kindergarten... so yea,,, we go back a ways.. .

Then the pressure was on me...there was a job fair that I was supposed to go to, and I really did not want to go,... but being that it was my idea anyways to apply at this particular place... I kind of suggestted to Bryan.. and to some other people too n San Jose.... it was rainy... did not get enough rest the night before... So I was really dragging ASS!... Thanx Dilly... n Bridgee... I am glad that I made it to the Shoreline Amphithearter for the job fair.... cuz 5 people ... which included myself got our seasonal job and can say that we will be employed affective May 5, after the orientation meeting.. filling out the I-9's and stuff.

I feel better ...and the look on the other people's faces that came with my son and I... well... all of a sudden I see hope and joy in 4 young people's faces! That meant more to me than ... I mean, what could mean more ?? When we got back out to the car... uh I asked... Does anyone know how much we are getting paid?? LOL
Cuz I sure didn't and still do not..... Do you think I wanted to take on this adventure and experience ?? I think so! .... Partty of 2007 ???? I like it!!

PEACE!

Chrissy... Innocense!?!

Here is another friend of mine... her name is Chrissy! I enjoyed working with her in the Kitchen as well. Her innocence and her open-mindedness is what got me about her. Her ability to not judge people, and in such a way that can only be done by her. Many times she has read me like a book, and was able to cheer me up with just a piece of candy! Yepp, that is Chrissy! How she ended up at the picnic, was that I saw her walking as we were picking up food at Smart n Final.. I told her to meet us there, since I was in traffic, and that she was to spend the afternoon with me. And that she did! I am glad that she felt comfortable enough to come and spend the day with us. I think she had a good time, and I think that she needed a day away from EHC that day too! I know that Bryan has also worked with her in the kitchen, so I know that he would not mind.
Anyways, Chrissy was one person that could make a bad day into one that seemed acceptable! Thanx Chrissy!

PE@CE!

Graduaton Celebration!

Well, On Sunday, there was a BBQ picnic in San Jose, for the celebration for my son's graduation. We had bergers, hot dogs, ribs, chicken... of course with Potatoe and Macaroni Salad. We all had a good time... and there was no DRAMA.. how about that? That is what made it so nice. Anyways... the plan is to take some people to Shoreline Amphitheather to get some seasonal work in.... and to get to see some concerts! YEA!! I am down for that! I think that would be a great way to spend some of the summer!

Anyways, think that talking about the EHC (Emergency Housing Consortium) kinda makes me feel depressed. I know the goings on there as a resident... and well, I know that the intentions are to help!.... At least to help the ones that want to help themselves. I worked in the kitchen... and that guaranteed me a place to lay my head. I learned alot from the Chef and the Cook of the kitchen! Both Paul and Sherman are good people, and are good people to work with. To me, it seems that they understand what goes on there, and as, can keep a compassionate side to them on an individual basis. They are aware that not all people are the same! I give them my respect.
In the picture that I have posted on this post is a person that I met... Another mother at the shelter, along with her son. We made friends immediately, and I am glad that I had the pleasure of meeting them. I found out that her and her son are victims of Katrina! Whoa! Yes, Clarisa, and her son, Carlos.... have been a through alot, something that I cannot imagine. Enough for this evening!

PE@CE!

Did I make the right decision?

Well, why am I feeling so down and out? I really ought to be happy that I am away from the shelter! I guess, because I know what goes on... and what one feels in a place like that... and I left my son there! I know that he is old enough, and he should be taking care of his business. Unless you have been in the shelter, there really is no way for you to understand what I am feeling right now! I do not mean to sound any kind of cold or anything like that.. I think I just have a heart that is too soft.
Until last week, I felt like I was more feeling the depression for everyone else! I felt for the staff.... I felt for the 'Grannys' and.. .Wow....! What does one do now? Coming into this new situation, I guess I am going to through the adjustment period? A good possibility that that is happening! I guess that I have alot of mixed feeling going on inside of me that I just do not know which is really the really emotion! I know that it sounds silly... Thats just me .. thats all! I think I shoul slpurge and have some ice cream and strawberries... wanna join ???

PEACE!

Awareness Of: Disclosure Policy

Awareness Of: Disclosure Policy

Sharing a Friend

I just wanted to share a friend with you all..... he has been alot of help to me in the past few weeks.... He does tattooing tooo! Maybe he will share with me some of his work.. and ... can share with you!

PEACE!

Paying the Way through the Kitchen

Well this is a picture from my camera phone, of my son! This picture was taken the third day that we were at the Shelter.... (Emergency Housing Consortium). I know that we have been going through alot of emotional stuff.. and we still had adjustments to make about our lives. Doesn't he look so enthused??? LOL ... He knows that I am just kidding around. This was also before we got the information that we could even work there as volunteers and that would guarantee a place to lay our heads at night! Yea, there was the lottery system there for the most part, which meant that we had to throw our ID's into the bucket and they could call a certain amount of people and those are the ones that 'won the lottery' for that day.
Luckily, My son and I had won the lottery each.. with our fingers crossed behind our backs! :) Then we found out that there are 'programs' there! Programs to become volunteer workers, and depending on the program, it could guarantee a bed for your either 30 or 45 days! I thought, that is a good idea... I sure would feel better about working for a place to sleep, rather than to just bum, and hope and a prayer that I would know where I would sleep at night!
My son and I were told about working in the Kitchen. WE went into the kitchen one Wednesday morning, and well... we were in luck! We shouted in to the kitchen to a cook named Sherman, asking if he needed help in the kitchen... and lo and behold, we found out later on that day, they had to get rid of the crew that was there, just yesterday... meaning the day before we stuck our head in to ask! So that started the career as a volunteer in the kitchen area. I had worked for a YMCA summer camp before, so I understood the work, and the safety issues that an industrial kitchen needed to operate. My son had worked for fast food places, so he understood the commercial kitchen as well. I thought.. this is not bad... I have experience in this stuff... with all the sanitation, and cleanliness of that type of kitchen
We found out that we actually got to have lockers to put our stuff in, which is something that is so much of a luxury...
So, our first meal prepared was Scrambled Eggs, Waffles and bacon. Of Course there was juice, and water and COFFEE!
I know I was feeling productive at this point! We even got a special table for the Kitchen Staff to sit at! HeHeHeHe.. I know that sounds kind of funny, but working in a kitchen feeding approximately 150 people per meal, is hard work. This picture is one of my son.. before we started in the kitchen.. we were standing in line... waiting on a meal....

PEACE!

And so I am back!

Wow, got to sleep in today! Sleeping in meaning that I slept in til after 6AM... Yepp, that was the time that I was getting up no matter what! I have learned alot of things in the past couple of months, and I still say today as I said the day that I went into a shelter! No matter how much money... No matter what.... I think that everyone should experience living in a homeless shelter at least for One week!
I have found that I have met many different people there. Some that are in there for whatever reason.. Some working the system.... and well... Its kind of amazing how the staff of one of these places can be so compassionate... yet at the same time have that rough edge to make different people listen to them! I have learned that there are resources out there for ones that are really trying to get their lives back together! I have met Viet Nam vets... now this one actually kills me... there are our vets out there that are living in shelters! Let alone, there are older people... that one would call a 'Granny'.. or 'Papa' out there.. that probably have worked their whole lives and then to see where some an end up.... maybe not so much cuz of money.... it can be just about perdicuments... that people have oome across, and have nothing that they could have done about it! To me, it just does not seem fair for some of these people! For me, I thought, wow... How can this be? And yet the shelters can impliment certain rules that feels as if they are taking away out constitutional rights.. but you know, there is no law that says that these places have to house anyone ... let alone feed us!
The first thing that got to me, was the fact that the staff had to deal with so many different types of people that only a special person can do that! And they are just trying todo their jobs! I commend the staff at EHC! I am no longer there, although, my son still is! I believe that there are people he has met there, that he feels that he can help! I give a salute to my son! GO BRYAN!
In my next few posts, I will be telling of some of my experiences at EHC (Emergency Housng Consortium) Its been a real experience and I will never forget the people that I have met!

PEACE!

Happy Easter and.... In da City!

Well, I decided to take up the offer from my daughter..and so now here I stay in the City of San Francisco! Yesterday.. As I was driving from the south Bay.. coming into the city.. Wow.. what a difference in the weather! It was nice and decent weather as I left Santa Clara County...and as I drove north... I seen clouds, Fog, and even rain.. Oh my goodness!
I have been trying to get rid of this darned cold for 2 weeks.. and its not better yet. I know part of if was from allergies,,,, but this one s a down right \COLD.. and its not quiting.... WOW! Now that I am in a better environment.. I can feel alttle better, and well... hopefully it will not be as long to take care of it. Anyways, I will probably be on line more often now.... I now, do not have as many rules that I need to follow, and well.,... I am just praying that all things go well!

Bry.......... Take care of yourself and remember what I told you.. Just a phone call away! An Stay warm... I love you!

Off to bed I go.. and Happy Easter to all

PEACE!

Its Friday again!

Wooooo hoooooo! I have been busy, and have had a couple of interviews, and I have been getting some responses on the resumes that I have been sending out! That is really good thing. I do work a little bit in the kitchen, and the work is fulfilling! There has been a lot things going on! A lot of adjustments, too! Soon, I will be looking for an apartment and you know when that time comes, it will be all good. There are times that I cannot get on the computer to get on line! I have decided to bring in my laptop, and just plugg it up rather than to find an available computer, here!

Anyways, I have made some friends here and most that I am realizing that there are alot of original type of people that I have met here! I do understand that everyone of us are unique individuals, I am finding that a lot of interesting people out here in the world.

I was supposed to go out tonight, but I decided to cancel and tend to that matter at another time! So, I think that I know that things will be okay... I do see a lot of drama around here. Well, I think I will call it a night !

Wow its been awhile

Yo Yo Yo.... its been a while.. but I have been busy! I really have been!Whoa... the time on this clock is off by an hour@ LOLOLOL.. no wonder I thought I had all the time in the world... Got a few interviews in this week.. so its all good! Brb

St Patrick's Day

Well, it is a Saturday, and it is St Patrick's Day... I worked a little bit today... Well, actually alot of bit. I am sore and I hurt today. I was working in the kitchen, and I was hungry today!... Awesome!
Anyways, I had the opportunity to spend some time with a friend and listened to some music, and watched some old Rock N Roll Concerts! First it started out with Govt Mule, the Temptations, Deep Purple, an even some Pink Floyd! It was really nice to get out of here for a minute, and to have decent conversation with someone. I have made a couple of friends, here, and that is kewl... But I know that I needed to get into a different enviroment!

I understand that we will be having our Corned Beef and Cabbage for tomorrow's dinner! I will also be working in the kitxhen tomorrow, so I know that I will be leaving or asking some input!! So did everyone get to eat some good cooked corned beef and cabbage???? I will not be cooking it this year, although, I did get a text from my daughter asking if I was going to cook cabbage for this year! I feel like I just need to take a chill pill... and relax,, I want to read some of my manuals... and.. well..... I am not sure.. I know that I do need to relax some !!

Feeling a bit Meloncoly

Yepp, I did go on that interview yesterday, and it should all be good, I suppose. Right now I am feeling something that I am not real sure of. Yesterday, I ran into an old friend of mine, well... he was an ex... and since then, I have been feeling like this. He can actually just think what he wants.. duzzn't matter any more.

What I wanted to do was to say that I am really starting to not like the situation that my son and are going through. I do not want to fall into any cracks, and I am so afraid of this, that it is not funny at all. I am scared and I cannot let that show. I think it is time to see someone... well... wow, we still have the safe deposit box adventure to deal with... There has been so much on my mind that I just do not know!.... Allowing the tears to roll is a sign that I have not turned cold :)!

Peace!

Well, its Been a while

Heyyy there... So what has everyone been up to? I have been taking care of business, and trying to keep a straight head on my shoulders. I miss posting on my bloggs, but sometimes it has been a little hard to even get on line! I am still trying to get the little things straightened out, along with my brothers' affairs.
Trying to get my mail in order, and well, its just been a little tough on the road here. I have an interview tomorrow in the city... with a property managment company...Woooowheeeeeee... management of San Francisco Condo's... Can you believe that? I believe that all that I have been through, there must be a reason for all of this and for me to be where I am at my life right now! I am on a public computer, so to speak....
I do have my laptop, but I have not been able to catch a wifi frequency! :(( I wanted to post a couple of pictures, but it just seems that once I think about it, I am not around a computer...I am taking pics with a cell phone!! LOL I never imagined that I would be taking pictures from a cell phone! Oh well.... I will be catching up as much as I can with everyone's blogs.... I will keep you all posted as best as I can...


PE@CE!

Chinese New Year!

Since I was a child, I have always loved to watch the Lion Dance. I even enjoyed that more than I do the Dragon Dance! I believe that the Lion Dance has more tradition in its meaning. When I used to go to Chinatown as a kid, I even wanted to learn how to do it, but being a girl, well,,, yea... that had a lot to do with not being able to learn that dance. Even playing the drums along side of the Lion would have been nice! :))

PEACE!

Smoke In The Water

Well tonight I am in the mood for some MUSIC!!! yepp... I love Joe Satriani, Eric Johnson and Steve Vai. (G3) I do listen alot to Rock N Roll more so than I listen to country or easy listening music. Rock n Roll actually puts my mind in a state of concentration. I know that sounds weird, but it is so true. This Song actually, I am playing also on Guitar Hero1 Smoke in the Water is one of your classic rock songs I think. Deep Purple, of course, does it well!

PEACE!
OOOps, my error.. this video has steve pertucci in it! Still Awesome tho.. In my favs!

Happy Chinese New Year

Upcoming the Year of the Boar. I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy 'Chinese' New Year. Alot of eating going on. Alot of closure going on too! Its the Lunar moon. Well, Yes, I just talked to my Dad.. All is well.. He sounds good! Just touching base. Check out the link.... I want to let you know that I still learn more and more every year!

PEACE!

Happy V Day

Happy Valentine's Day to All. I am doing okay today. I wanted to share with you, the car that I am driving now. My son took the picture yesterday. He still need to take lessons, as far as not shooting into the sun! I will take more pics another day.

I have alot going on in my mind right now. Alot to do within the next couple of weeks too. I guess I need to figure out what just happened in our court thing, uh.... I have never quite felt this:feeling like..'What just happened?" and what happens now ?

PE@CE!

Wow.. I love this song....

Wow, I was going to share one of my favorite songs by Allsion, And as I was searching YouTube, I ran across this video. I was supposed to see John Waite, last summer, and I still beat myself up for not going. This is an awesome song! I love it! I also wanted to see Allison when she was here in November, but those tickets were sold out:(

Anyways, I think that this is awwwwwwwwesome! They are good together! Wooo yea!

PEACE!

Music, and What ???

Well, what is going on ?? I was trying to hyper link this.. and, uh... it never does let me link things on here.. I wonder if I am doing something wrong... HMMM....

Yepp, I have decided to take some Guitar Lessons, on line! Yea, I think that I want to learn now to play, or at least get the idea of it. As much as I love music, I think I ought to be able to... be creative if that is what I decide. Right now I am not feeling like me.
I mean, it is me... but there seems that alot has just kind off put to the side, and things are just now starting to hit me. Weird, huh?

Anyways, I got lost in this fair town. I knew that when I first drove into this town that I would not like it. I surely have given it a go, tho! I remember wayyy, long ago when we were on our way back into San Francisco from one of those family vacations to Disneyland, and we were to stop here in San Jose, I think one of my Dad's cousins or something like that .. and we got lost! :( LOL, maybe I knew then, that this would be the town that I would feel lost in! I have just lived here for over a year... and 3 months... and I am ready to say good bye to it. I do not know what it is that I do not like about this town...
I know at this time, I need to figure out just exactly what it is that I need to do, and that is in reference to my personal self.

You know, you would never think that, at the age that I am at, things like this should not be happening. I feel like I am going through the change of life or something. I mean, I thought I went through this when I was like 35 or something like that. Isn't that what you call a mid life crisis? Do they even call it that anymore?
Could it be that I ought to be very thankful of the things that I do have, and that would be my health at the moment! I found out this past week, that , Yes, I do rememeber when my younger brother was hospitalized for his seizures! And it is having its ill effects on him still. Yes, He is on a medical suspension from driving! I just found that one out. I did not know that his blood pressure had been a pain in the butt for all this time.

And I found out that my sister was just hospitalized for a faulty valve in her heart, Yes, I found out that she had a cardio serg... replacing that bad valve. I thought that since I have been the one taking all the meds that I do take, that I was the one that got blessed with the ailments of the family! Aparently not! I have been the one that has been least bothered by it. I have been able to control these diseases with the meds. It has hit my siblings like a mighty blast that it turned into life and death situations. I have to be more weary and make sure that I do take care of myself. But at the same time, I cannot depress myself to think that I should not be the one that was blessed with not having to face the cruelness of the illness.

There has been alot going on in my life, and those of you that know me, know that I have pretty much have kept it together. So, is it time for me to break down.. I only mean that more on the emotional side. Alot going on and alot on my plate, STILL..when does it subside?

PEACE!

Rain, Meeting, Family

Well yesterday I went to the city to meet with my family. They were ready for all the paperwork that needed to get sorted out!UH.... I think Dad has, st least come out of the shock... He was asking for the Pictures, and that the mail should go to the house now!

I told him that I had it, and that the mail is coming to the house. I will make sure that Dad will get all the mail... and I will have to go to the banks, now and close out the accounts.. and yes, it has been 41 days. Before going there, I was really uptight! I caught myself yelling at the kids.. Not good!....Oh my, I got home about 11 last night and decided to play some GUITAR HERO II... and i beat out the medium level.. now I have to go on with the Hard Level.

I know that I have things to take care, but it is just rainy and yukky out.. So.. Here I am...LOL To top it off, my horoscope told me that it would be a day like this, and that I should take responsiblity....Ha Ha Ha... Now you know how serious I take the horoscopes!

Checking Out the Pics

I wanted to share with you some pictures out of the Photo Album that was at my brother's apartment. Wow, these pictures really bring back some times,,, Well, in actuality, I was not even thought about when these pictures were taken. These are pictures of my Mom and Dad on their wedding day! I am glad that I am finally able to scan and upload them. Yes, today, the court thing.. Well, can you believe that the County CourtHouse has our file misplaced! How about that one ?

Their attorney did not tell us tho, until the end. I was wondering why we had to postpone our case until next week. Hmmmm, anyways, and she said to us that he (frank) will not be able to make it next week.. so....

Does that mean another week?? She was telling us that the Orignal Judge is on vacaton and that she will be back tomorrow. She also told us the the clerks were looking for our file for the past two days. I wonder what is going on with that ?? I asked that attorney if he could just outright do what he is doing, and she said Yes, its usually the people that have "REAL" property that has the most say. She said in the beginning that this case looks alot like... a case of bad situation. I keep thinking that because of the new law that went into effect about giving 60 day notice, and to think that he thought he was going to make it a fast thing to happen!

Oh well, so on to the bulk of the afternoon, I have been scanning pictures and try to preserve them the best I know how. Anybody have heard of PhotoMax ? Hmmm, I was given an opportunity, so to speak.. to get in on it ?

PEACE!

Bandidas!!

Wow, has it been so long since I have watched a movie?? It was nice to just chill and not think of things that I needed to look up on this computer, and used it to watch a movie. I have always been one to enjoy Westerns... and I picked out the movie 'Bandidas' with Salma Hayek, and Penelope Cruz.

It was an excellent choice. Something that has a plot, some humor, and some sensitivity. I love stories that have happy endings. It also had the 'Thelma & Louise' kind of comrade re for the two. Its good to know that you can create a 'friendship' or a 'partnership' that can mean so much, when you are fighting for the same thing. I enjoyed it, the only thing that was missing was the popcorn! (But I had some earlier in the evening)

Something that was light and yet serious, is what I needed this evening. Awesome movie! I would recommend it with 5 stars *****!!! I loved the scenery too, the mountains, the rivers, sooo soooothing! I often thought that I was born in the wrong era. I should have been a cowgirl ;)

PEACE!

What was I thinking?

Well, the weekend is over, and some good and positive things can be happening. I have a friend that has a friend, that is looking for a room mate. YEAAAAAAA, so a move to the next town is looking pretty good right now. What a great idea!!

I was in chat with a friend this evening, and he actually told me what I was going through. Whoa.... how did he know that? He said because he knows that feeling. I am really surprised that what he said made me think about alot of things. My eyes are so heavy right now, I could just go sleep.Wll update tomorrow... So much going through my mind, I will let it squirt!

PE@CE!

Well...Things are as well as can be

Hey, hey

Well, we went and consulted with an attorney, things are more definate now. He also referred me to an attorney that also handles 'Labor Laws'. As to why this is all happening at such an inopportune time, I am still yet to figure this out. I am hoping that everything else that we have on the agenda will go smoothly.

Oh yes, my brother called, and asked if next Thursday would be okay to have that meeting, then all of the paperwork needs to be taken care of for the insurance. And we well also get a copy of the death certificate so that I can go over to the Oakland post office and pick up the mail that is there.

Man, I have been trying to call the EDD so that I can give them the phone number to the cell, so that I can do the interview in case we are just waiting at the courthouse to wait to talk to the judge. I sometimes think that that there is a real reason for all ths to be happening, and I am still waiting to see what the reason is. I know that it will not just jump out at me! Anyway, I have been looking for work.. and I also have been trying to make money online as well. I can see though that there is not enough time in the day to really do both.

I have also been looking into some insurance, I know that things will be ok, in that area. Oh yea, there are steps that have to be made as well, so that I can go and get my California DL.

I also see that there has to be more stability with all this before I can go on the next step. I am not sure if I really want to work for any corporations anymore. I do not know. I feel that it is time for me to take a hold of things and maybe this is the right time in my life to take care of the things that are important in my life. Anyhow, I have to get some things ready for the move that we have to make.

Back at ya!
PE@CE!

Still Here...Somewhere!

Yes... I have been away from this area of the apt lately! I think that I am really really trying to absorb all this that is going. It really is alot to absorb, Well, maybe that may not even be the proper word for it. I know something is happening to me that I think is good, not quite sure what yet... but its happening.

I know that I have had anxiety attacks, but I have not told anyone about them. The kids would worry too much and they already have enough on their plates. I know that they are having a hard time understanding what has happened, and why some people are the way they are, I hate to tell them, that this is what growing up is all about. There are good relationships, and there are just those sour ones that you try to sweeten up, and no matter what you do... and then the juices decides to SQUIRT you in the eye,,, hmmmmm
Yepp, and the ones you thought to be closest to you is the one doing the SQUIRTING.

A couple of times, I have felt my heart beating sooo hard on my chest, it actually scared me. I know at that point, there really is nothing that can be done but just stay as calm as I can. Do NOT stress. I have felt that I have done all that I can in the recent situations that I have had to deal with... and if all that I have done, cannot change anything, then its really not about what you can do to stop it, but to resolve it, someway! I listen to Regina, and I listen to Bryan... Did you know that they stress differently? Oh yes they do, and I don't think that they realize that I am watching them, and seeing their hurt. They have not been raised in your normal two adult family. I raised them, and was told by a youth counselor that we were the most functional... disfunctional family that they have talked to in a long time.

They are learning the hardships of life, and to deal with it in a grown up way, is kind of hard... Cuz you know what? This adult is having a hard time with it too! They do not realize, yet, that it is not a Chinese thing... It is a generational thing. My sister and I grew up at the same time, and there is such a difference between the two of us that it really amazes me. Anyways, I think I am glad that I got that out of my system, they will see one day that it really is not about what they think its about.. Its really just about HER! I have tried! What is the saying.. that says.. something about how many times do you keep trying and getting slapped down b4 you give up? Its something to that effect!

PE@CE!

Have you seen...10%?

It's Saturday morning.. or Friday night, I just woke up... strange! Anyways, durng the course of the week, I did post my resume on Craigslist, just to see what is out there! Well, all of a sudden I started to get a few responses from the post. I have been getting some email to become a 'Representative' to a company that is operatored in another country.

Hmmm , that did not seem strange at first; Actually I thought I had somethng going. It sure did seem very logical, and also innocent, as far as the way that it when explained. It just seem like it is too good to be true, and when you get that feeling, more than likely, it is something that it should be checked into even more thoroughly. Some have even offered to live their house, while they go home and attend to the business close at hand. Stay in the house for FREE, no charging on those kinds of dwellngs. Anyways, it tells me that they have a business in the their home country, whether it be India, or Morocco, or even Belguim. This email also says that they need trustng person's need only reply. Customers send (me) the amounts that is owed, and they pay it! Understood! These people are offering 10% of the amount that is paid, just so that you can cash the check, or Money order, or whatever, and for you to forward the money via mailgram, wire transfer, or whatever way is quickest, and simplist. So the decison was made, that there would another address that you would send your money to, and Oh but first, you would have to take your 10% out and then send the money to 'your boss' Wow, you would be getting paid before the boss would and to have someone that he can trust to have this money in possession to send out to him/her! I would say that that is alot of trust!

Anyways, these emails are coming in like its nobody's business. I am averaging oh about 5 a day, and everyone owns their own business. Has anyone actually responded to one of those kinds of ads?? On the serious side of this ... is.... ?

I think that if there is more money to be taken care of like that, I would at least give a try, to just inquiry within. What do you think about this? And would they have to send me to school for that? So, please advise when the bank is done, and all that good stuff.

Please,fill out the attached Account form and email back. We will take a look at all the applicants, and we shall see if you are the one for the job! That is alot of information to be giving out to someone that you do not even know, but yet, it is oK for companies and corporations to do this, take all of your personal information, and they even get to test our urine.. how about that? Anyways, has anyone one heard any 'Yays' or 'Nays' on one of these types of 'Offer's???? I would really like to hear from you... Is it Illegal? Is it a scam?

PE@CE!

I should not have went back and read... I am ready for the physical, really my own concern is with my branch will have to say, on monday!

Memorial, Legal, and No more Work?

Well, it seems that "http://bzbusiness.blogspot.com/" my son says it perfect, as to how the day of the Service went.

We had other things to take care of... some legal stuff that we have to file an answer to, and in the midst of all of that, Mr Fed Ex appeared at my door, and I received a paycheck, with my vacation, and last week's pay on it! Hmmm, I was termnated from my position? Sure does seem like it to me. I am attempting to get ahold of my HR person, to find out what the reason is. Enough of the crap with the manager at my branch. There has not been any comradere there, and I do not feel as if there has been any support, or at least the right type of support when a situation comes up. Is there still such a thing called 'Wrongful Termination'? Will update as I know more!

PE@CE!

Another Day of Finalization,AFC Championship!

Its Monday, and I tell ya, I had a very busy, busy day yesterday. I turned in the keys to the landlady, and we went out to Golden Gate Park, and had a picnic. Gina and Craig really went all out to have this event to be just right! We decided since there was no real official memeorial service for my brother, we decided to take a plant out of his backyard, and plant it in the park. The day went as planned, and we had our minutes of memorial. He is high on a hill in the Great park of Golden Gate. The kids and I had some closure, and it was all good. It was beautifully warm when we got out there. We started the grills, and started to eat. We also had the service, and the sun was just setting perfect on the hill. Right at that point, it got COLD.. we were all starting to get cold from the weather. Brrrrrrr

We got back to Gina's place, and oh wow, the AFC Champonship game was on, we decded to stay there to finish watching the final quarter of the football game. WOW, DaBears, and the Colts are gonna go the Super Bowl.. What a game that is going to be!

PE@CE!

You Would Think!

Yo', Today you would think that I would get alot of stuff done? Well, have you ever had one of those days, that you set out to get things accomplished, and.... then you realize that all you got accomplished was standing in lines, and WAIT!! Yepp, that is the kind of day that I had; Did not get much accomplished, but I tell you, the effort was there........lol...Gotta laugh about it, otherwise I would just be here in tears.

Tomorrow will be the last day that I will be going to Alameda, my brother's apartment. Thats it! I have to say that I am finished at some point, cuz you know it could just go on and on! I called all the utilty companies today to shut off, or end the service at his address. It was not as bad as the first two that I had to do. Wow, just a reminder to myself, that I have to make an appointment with the landlord over there, the last time I talked to her, was on Wednesday, and I was not doing so good, that day.

Yea... I shared alittle of what I am going through with my little brother. First time I have ever done that. I think it must shock him how much I can go through and somehow make it a positive thing. I met with Eva... the beneficiary's daughter... last night. There is a bigger language barrier with me and her mom, than I have with me and my folks. So, I decided that I would talk to Eva, instead. Told her what needs to be written in a 'statement' form, and to fax it to my brother, and then at that point, as the Death Certificate comes, both of the claims can be done on one certificate. In case she wanted to send it alone, I did leave her the information of what to do and where to send it.

I will be leaving alot there.. OH wait, we may just donate the rest of the stuff, to the same place that we donated the clothes. Hey, you know, I do not feel so bad that I would have to leave so much bigger items for the landlady to take of. I would have left it there, but, you know, that is not kewl, either. Anyways, I do feel better about finshing this project up! Yepp, I sure do. And I was telling my brother about it too! Its been a hard job, and someone had to do it... So, I did.

I did end up sending the landlord more money, like I normally do. He will see that I am not the one trying to mess him up on money. I just want to be pretty much left alone, and let me do my thing. With this court stuff, to me it is just like taking up my time. I wonder how many other people he does this to? I do have my personal feelings and opinions, but I have to keep them to myself. Shhhhhh... I think he is the most arrogant, and belittling person I have ever talked to, or met. I felt that the day that I met him. But to get affordable housing, one has to just shut my mouth. What really gets to me is that .... wooooooo him being the property manager, and we being the people renting from him, he can really say or do anything that he wants, we have to be at his mercy. Yea... like when he claims he did not get our rent in September, and did not tell us anything until our stove went haywire... told me another something else about him.

What is he really doing with my landlady's money? Borrowing on it, so that every time we call him, he is on some sort of vacation or something? Yea, I see alot of 'slick' in the guy, but I see right through him... I have met people like him before, and I just have that feeling. He knows how to pass judgement on people, that is for sure. He has demonstated it in conversations with me, that totally shocked me! Anyways, I do not want to get MAD... someone told me.. Get even! LOL

Then I think, Do I really want to live under those kinds of conditions? Someone like that is all about $$$ the almighty dollar$$$! Unfortunately, the majority of our society is like that, and is something that we all have to live with. Anyways, yes, I have kind of gave a guestamation of things that I could have sold, but gave to people that needed, instead... I could have made payment to him... But that is not how I am.. Maybe I should be, though,...... eh ? Time for some GUITAR HERO!!!

PE@CE!!

Its Friday

Happy Friday

As I have been sharing with you, What more can go on? At coolmama's corner.yahoo. I have expressed myself to a point where I just cannot seem to make things go right. I know that I need to take this all by the handle, and take care of it. What is it really that I am fighting for? I don't know! When things get to this point, where do you go, and what do you do?

I have to go file these court papers at the courthouse, and pay some more rent. So, um, and still call the utilties to disconnect the service at my brother's apartment. Its Days off, and is not really days off. I have so much to do! I guess I just better get with it.... No time to stop and think, at all. Now, is that a good thing? or a bad thing? Rent is paid. Does Discrimination apply in this case, I am not sure. This man that we have to call our landlord, has really made me think there the word, 'Slumlord' really exists! :(

PE@CE!

Today Be the Day, Scattering

So here I am, and was told yesterday, that the scattering will be done today. Ask me what time, and I could not tell you, as of this moment. I will attempt to call the Neptune Society, and they have to tell me at least what time he will be scattered at Sea!

Family Meeting!

Well, Some of you may know that I was pretty much summoned to a Family Meeting in reference to my brother's belongings, not so much any material things, but, more about his bank accounts, insurance policies (if Any), and any amounts due for utlities and/ rent... etc. mainly the first two! Earlier in the week, I mentioned that my sister had been asking my younger brother, Stan, for any updates from me... I had been reporting to him, pretty much my findings, and well, I explain to him what I have discovered, and when he tries to tell my sister, he feels that he is not explaining it correctly. He felt like he is blotching it up. I knew that something was not right about his questioning that day, and I had a feeling that my sister.... Well, I just said to him in a from of a question... (she) They don;t think that I know what I am doing, do they?

He answered with .... Well, I think that she wants to have a family meeting on all of this stuff. I thought if she wanted to know so badly, I thought that the meeting was
going to take place in the evening sometime during the week... I still have to finish up cleaning the apartment and stuff. I had made plans to meet some friends at the apartment that needed some tools, and my neice is real need of just general things, she just moved into a dfferent place.
Well, the next call I get from Stan is that the meeting was to be on Saturday morning... I expressed to him that I had made plans to meet people at the apartment in the morning. He knows that it needs to get done. She is just interested in the Ins money.

Anyways, I change plans for this FAmily Meeting, and rearrange my plans with various people. The meeting was to be at 10AM, and had to travel the different direction just for this! Okay, I will do this, cuz I am sure that my Dad has also been curious if there was any insurance or whatever. This morning, I start off my ride to the city... San Jo to San Fran....
As I am getting off the freeway in San Fran, I am getting a call at 10AM.. figured that they wanted to know how long I was going to be. I told them that I was pulling off the Freeway right now,, and will be there in about 10 min.. Well, it was my brother Stan, telling me that my sister was not going to make it. !

I said..Scuse Me? I'll be right there, Ok? He said that she could be on the phone, and Stan could expain everything as we go along. I said, ok whatever suits her. As I am going along showing him my findings, and explaining why I kept that item, whether it was the a bank statement, Insurance Policies, all.. of it. I handed over the bankcards, and possible pin numbers, and all that kind of stuff ie: Power bills, Telelphone bills, other utlity bills, Car Title and Insurance... and stuffs like that. There you are... you got it and with notes on them.. ones that I discontinued service...yadda yadda yadda....Anyways, my brother said that may be I should just keep all the paper work together so that we do not get them lost, or all over the place. ...And yes, Dad was sitting at the table listening in... He felt that he needed to be there since he is the next of kin and so on....

I heard my Dad say... Where is Gail? that be my sister... and was told that she had watch her daughter ........... ??? uhhhhh, okay.... ! We wondered why Gail had called this meeting and why she is not there. That is what Dad kept on saying. Kind of like.. in wonder.. and what a waste of time for all of us involved! So what I had thought on this matter, was true. That my sister just wanted to see if what I was telling my brother was true and in fact, and needed to see evidence of it. Well, maybe with her CPA husband knowing the California Law, that whoever is in possession of the policy, is the rightful 'owner' of the policy at that time. Of course he would not think that I would know something like that! But of course, she does not know that my son is learning law in his third year of college!

I wonder if I will be making any changes to my plans ever again for something that my sister needs to call as an urgent affair! I don't think so!

PE@CE!

More Finalization?

Well, My goodness, I have not posted the majority of the week... Wassup with that? Anyways, I have been going through alot of paperwork, and I am finding out that I am alot like my brother in so many ways. I chuckle at that.

Earlier this week, I had received a call from my younger brother, and he seemed like he had so many different kinds of questions for me, which really surprised me alot. Finally what really came down, was that my family does not think that I know what I am doing. Yepp, its not so much that he disagreed with what I said, it was a matter of the comment that he made, when I questioned him on something. He just said that it seems like I am blotching things up when Gail (my sister) asks what is going on, or something. He just said that maybe we should just have a family meeting, cuz Dad is asking about all the paperwork, as well. I have been letting my brother know what I have been discovering, and well, I had done that mainly so that I got myself in check with all of this stuff, you know?

I never realized just how much people really expect out of you, when... one is doing all that she can, but yet, it really is never good enough for someone in the bunch. What really gets me upset is that, they cannot do what I am doing. Going through my brothers' stuff. But yet they want to know what is going on... Fast enough.. but not fast enough for them. You know? Or for Her.. in this case.

This morning, I decided to call the phone company, and the cable TV people to cancel, or to have service discontnued. I did not realize how hard that was going to hit me until after I did it. I suppose, there will be a lot of these.. 'Feeling of Finalization'... eh? The phone number has been the same for years... and years, and well, It was rough to have to do that. I did not know that it was going to last all day, and even now, I am still feeling a lil down about it. But, as my daughter told me.. MOM, you are doing it for your brother, and out of respect for him, you are the one being strong about all of this.

Anyways, this weekend, I had made plans, yet again, to go over to my brothers' apt, and try to get all the things that need to get done over there, and kind of let the landlady know what is going on. Yes... I found his rental agreement, and the landlady called me and we talked. She knew that I was the younger sister, when she asked me, she said that my brother talked of me often. In kidding, I asked her what did he say about me... She said, Oh nothing, just that you can tell that you were his favorite. :)) Most of the paperwork has been sorted and some of it has been addressed, So when my brother mentioned the Family meeting, I expected it to be during the week, so that I can go finish the other. Well, because my sister said... Its going to interrupt my weekend to get things done. The meeting will be tomorrow morning, when I should really be at my brothers place to clean it up and stuff. ...another .

I think that I have it all together...As a matter of fact, I know I have gone though the paperwork that I have here. Its a matter of sorting them out and have them all together so I can explain it all. During this week, my voice has been rough, being that I am on the phones all day, at work, and then to talk to companies, and being directed to the right department, I've had to explain alot to more people than I ever have. Voice is pretty much gone.

I wonder if they have called anyone, of importance, like Social Security, or Who else is there to call? I do not know if he was working part time, lately or not. I have not really seen a direct deposit outside of his social security go into his accounts, so that makes me think that he was not working of recent, anyways.

Anyways, I hope for it to be a good day tomorrow!

PE@CE!

A Long and Stressfull Day!

Well, My kids and I went back to my brothers apartment today. I am still looking for the Insurance stuff, and anything else that maybe of inportance. I am so Overtired that I could not sleep. , I tell you.. I left my house at 8am this morning, and got back about 8pm... that makes for a long day.

I could not believe all the tools that he had. I mean, my goodness. Should we sell then? I mean, really.. .I do not have the room to keep any tools A drill, or something smaller than that ..well... it can cost you lots of money. When I looked in the garage, ..WOW.. and being that I work for a company that does distributes small hand tools, it really amazed me. Computers, TV's, some jem stones... I know that he was into various types hobbies, and stuff... and I can see that he did keep himself qute busy. :)) I called my younger brother about it when I realized just how much he has. Well, he told me that Dad does not want anything to do with his last pocession, and that I was to do what I wished with Wayne;s stuff.

He definately had a stocked kitchen. But, yes, he always did have a nice kitchen. He has a dehydrater, a couple of rice cookers, and you can see from the simple to the fanciier one. Crock pots, dishes, of course, he had convience, which I think is good to a point, I really do not know what to do with all of that. Water filtration pitcher(s) WOW is all could think. \

When I went up there on this past Tuesday, I know that I had to get the papetwork that my dad needed..... I really did not have a chance to look around in his apartment. Today the kids got to know their uncle a lil more than they had, and realized, that just because he lived so far .. Well. You know what mean. The kids found things from the past that surprised them. LOLOL.. they found a picture album, and it happened to be the my Mom and Dad;s wedding pictures, an wthin that photo album, there was aot of loose pictures. .LOLOLOL ... kids found a picture of me when I was in Kindergarden... Jeeeze, and to think that I would have never even thougt that I would see those pictures EVER again.....LOLL

Yes, they seen some pictures of acouple of my cousn;s weddings. I even forgot that those were even still around.. anyways, I am soooo tired, I am nodding at the wheel. OOOPSSS nodding in front of this compurte ......sooo off I go. wll update later ll\ I think tha I am used to driving again;))

PE@CE!

NO RSS YAHOO MOTHERDEVA

DEVA NO RSS, WHY?

Well I just wrote a lenghthy post on what Yahoo has done, again, I mean, and why I have resorted to 'Mind Squrts' so that I can link that page to the Yahoo 360 so that I can somehow keep in touch with my friends,and to meet other people. It seems that I attempted to add my RSS FEED to another site, and there are no posts on it.. it says. The Date on the RSS is Dec 31 1969!

And those of you that know that I have been attempting to join up with PayPerPost Can you believe that this the second Blogg, that I have submitted to them, and they see nothing. Now that I have pinpointed, and Identified at least maybe a little bit of the problem, I get a survey to answer for a response that I sent to them with an attachment of a copy of the screenprint. And now I just clicked the link from Mind Squirts for 'coolmama's corner.myspace', it decides to show up as a private Blogg! HELLLLLOOOOOO..... EVERYTHING HAS BEEN SET TO PUBLIC!!

YES, this the second Blogg.... NOT the second post... and both have been the 360 bloggs, do you wonder why I have resorted to other sites to Blogg ??? And have linked my other bloggs to here(Yahoo), just so that I know that my friends are seeing..what I am trying to share, and as well, with the new people that I am meeting.

Anyways... I will be posting this on my other bloggs, and I would really like to know if you are seeing anything?? I mean, I started these Bloggs to keep in touch with my Yahoo friends, mainly from the days of Music Rooms! And now I as I try to share with my friends, I really am not... cuz no one can see... or if ANYONE even tried to keep up with me by RSS FEED, you would think that I started this blogg when I was a teen........ Can Anyone see these ?? and Pls Comment on which ever blogg that you are seeing this NOTICE on ??

How many times do I have to check my settings??? I do not know anymore, who is seeing what, and who is not seeing ..what ???? And Hell Yes, I am pissed!. HAS THIS BEEN HAPPENING TO ANYONE ELSE????

PE@CE!

First Day back to Work!

Today was my first day back to work, since right before Christmas. Wow, I thought that I would be okay. I remember when I went to Dad's house, I just could not believe that I misplaced Wayne's ATM cards. Right now, the family is in need of some funds to take care of my brother. I went to the apartment yesterday, and as I said before, that there really is alot of old mail, and junk to go through. There has been alittle bit more information, so it has made things just a little easier. I sound a bit confused, here, don't I ?

This morning when I started to get ready for work, I was thinking that I should bring a garbage back out there and just put, at least all of the newspaapers, and then well... Pretty much just get myself phyched out to get to work. I lost my DL... OMG>>>>>>>>>>>> I looked every where, pretty much tore up my room. I was frantic, cuz I have not been driving, and well, I just like to know that I am legal, if I were to ever got stopped. People that have never got therr driving PRIVALEDGES taken away, do not know what its like.

Anyways, I went out to the car after I started to freak out inside. I insisted that that knew I had my license on me last night when I got home. Anyways, I called the job, and told them what was happening. I was starting to wonder if I was even going to be any kind of capable of working. Well, I found my DL in the car, in the manilla envelope that I thought I had the ATM"S in.. and found the ATM's on the floorboard of the car. .... what a relief.

It felt good to be back at work, and well, I did have my moments, so, it kinda weird. I know that any kind of normalsy of me probably isn't real normal, and I am glad that they understand. My manager has not been back yet, so I do not even know that she does not even know what is going on. I did send her an email the other day, and well, explained to her what was happening.

I think I am having a hard time, that there really is not going to be any kind of service for my Bro. He said that he wanted it simple, but, I think that simple meant at least cousins and close friends. You know ? I do not feel like there is that final closure. They (sister &Bro) say that Dad does not want to have anything, But I think that Dad needs to have that closure too. I was going to call one of my cousins this evening, who happens to be a pastor. I feel like I really cannot really talk to anyone.. well, I do not have anyone to 'mourn' with, or to talk to about my brother. This cousin that I am talking about is also one that was close to me and my brother... .it was him and his older brother, and me and mine , that were considered the BLACK SHEEP of the family...LOL. Even when we have gotten together, more recently, it just seems that we can still remember how everyone thought that us four were soooooooooo BAD!!! So Bad, that my grandmother, said, no matter what, she (me) is the one with the biggest heart. Yea, I was really surprised when someone told me that. I can be the BLACK SHEEP, but a black sheep with a good heart. :))

Anyways, I think I will call my cousin Ed, tomorrow, and just talk. Maybe he will know how to handle this, Then there are the cousins that we have in Georgia! Yepp you got that one right. At one of the weddings many moons ago, My Mom's stepsister, came up from Georgia, and you know, LOLOL, it struck me so funny, an old Chinese lady... with a Soutern DRaw, telling me that I ought to go down there and visit her sometime! That would be Augusta, GA! Yes, ma'am!

Anyways, enough for now. I went through more papers tonight that I found in the car, and actually found some insurance papers. I have to check it out. What I was actually reading was... an offer to ADD on to his current policy... So I do not know. Gosh, he really had alot of offers and information on insurance, but I suppose that really s a good thing, you know ? Anyways, I am gonna read alittle bit, and just try to get some rest. I suppose, I will be like this, til I feel comfortable enough to be,,,,,,,,,,,, regular ?

PE@CE!

Misc Firearms, Msc, Firearems

Sooo amoung his belongings, I find two (2) firearms, WHAT DO I DO WITH THEM?? I mean I do not have a permit to carry one of those things, and I have to admitt that I am not trained to use one, so I know defininately, that I should not posess one. So, what do I do with them?? Can anyone help me out on this matter?

I will be going back. I could not really find enough of the important paperwork that I was looking for. He has more paper than I do. There is alot of paper work to look through. I did not realize when my parents and sister and bro said for me to take the car........... That it was a BRand new Car... the trip setter 107 miles. I had to do a double take, when I was reading the registration..2006..... Honda CRV... And my parents said that I can have it? Wow... I was looking for the Lein holder or something.. but when I called the insurance company about it, wow,.... My brother owned that car straight outright. And it is insured until June.. So it was okay for me to take the car tonight. I do realize that, nothing can be done until the death certificare is presented and all that kind of stuff. But.... But.....

During the course of the afternoon, I called my younger brother to let him know what was going on ... and that at certain times, there was just a point that I just needed to take a break from all of that. He told me how much he appreciated for me doing this part of it, and admitted that he probably could not do it. And he thanked me! It was at that point that I felt that I was any kind of appreciated, and just knowing that I had to be the stronger one to do all of this, well.....

I do have to thank my kids for being here for me, and their friends as well. Today, I felt so all alone, that I was scared. To them, it was okay for me to break down. They knew what we were there to do, and they did alot. We donated his clothes to a non profit organization. That would be THREE Closets full of clothes. I know that he would have appreciated that. Come to find out that Dad had gven hm alot of his old clothes.. you know back in early 50's.. the trench coat.. and hat look, I have seen my dad in pictures dressed like that, back in the day.

This weekend, I will be going back there, to finish up what I had started. We will get an earlier start, and my daughter will be there, as well. She is the most organized person around, right now. So, that is the game plan, and I go back to work tomorrow. Only difference is that I will be driving in, instead of doing the publc transportation. Who know, I may just keep doing the public transportation, cuz driving home this evening was a BEAR! It started out in Oakland, then to San Francisco, and then to San Jose

I am kind of anxious to get back into the normal way of living, work, home, dinner, and whatever... you know... very smple kind of stuff.

PEACE!

What to expect?

Well, here it is the day that I really have not been looking foreward to. The day that I have to go to my brother's apartment. I have already been warned by the deputy, what to expect when I go in there.

I am trying to be as organized as I can about this. but I do not know if it is well enough. I do have a folder that I have to gather any of his important papers. I know that I have not slept well, and if it were not for my kids, I think I have been eating ok. Wow... I am just on here so that I can just write out my feelings. know that I am scared. I have already been told that, really, I do not need to be afraid. I am doing something that will, at the end, help out my parents. It would probably harder time on them at this, especially at their age.

Anyways, I suppose I had just better get ready to do this. If I continue to procrastinate... It will just be harder on me. I have my son right here to assist me what ever I need to do. I do have a list of things that I need to look for. I will be okay. I keep thinking in my brain, that there must be a reason for me to have to do this. I must remember that Death is a part of Life.

PEACE!

Happy New Year!

I would like to wish everyone a very happy and prosperous NEW YEAR ! ***hugggsss ***

PEACE!