Still Here...Somewhere!

Yes... I have been away from this area of the apt lately! I think that I am really really trying to absorb all this that is going. It really is alot to absorb, Well, maybe that may not even be the proper word for it. I know something is happening to me that I think is good, not quite sure what yet... but its happening.

I know that I have had anxiety attacks, but I have not told anyone about them. The kids would worry too much and they already have enough on their plates. I know that they are having a hard time understanding what has happened, and why some people are the way they are, I hate to tell them, that this is what growing up is all about. There are good relationships, and there are just those sour ones that you try to sweeten up, and no matter what you do... and then the juices decides to SQUIRT you in the eye,,, hmmmmm
Yepp, and the ones you thought to be closest to you is the one doing the SQUIRTING.

A couple of times, I have felt my heart beating sooo hard on my chest, it actually scared me. I know at that point, there really is nothing that can be done but just stay as calm as I can. Do NOT stress. I have felt that I have done all that I can in the recent situations that I have had to deal with... and if all that I have done, cannot change anything, then its really not about what you can do to stop it, but to resolve it, someway! I listen to Regina, and I listen to Bryan... Did you know that they stress differently? Oh yes they do, and I don't think that they realize that I am watching them, and seeing their hurt. They have not been raised in your normal two adult family. I raised them, and was told by a youth counselor that we were the most functional... disfunctional family that they have talked to in a long time.

They are learning the hardships of life, and to deal with it in a grown up way, is kind of hard... Cuz you know what? This adult is having a hard time with it too! They do not realize, yet, that it is not a Chinese thing... It is a generational thing. My sister and I grew up at the same time, and there is such a difference between the two of us that it really amazes me. Anyways, I think I am glad that I got that out of my system, they will see one day that it really is not about what they think its about.. Its really just about HER! I have tried! What is the saying.. that says.. something about how many times do you keep trying and getting slapped down b4 you give up? Its something to that effect!

PE@CE!

Have you seen...10%?

It's Saturday morning.. or Friday night, I just woke up... strange! Anyways, durng the course of the week, I did post my resume on Craigslist, just to see what is out there! Well, all of a sudden I started to get a few responses from the post. I have been getting some email to become a 'Representative' to a company that is operatored in another country.

Hmmm , that did not seem strange at first; Actually I thought I had somethng going. It sure did seem very logical, and also innocent, as far as the way that it when explained. It just seem like it is too good to be true, and when you get that feeling, more than likely, it is something that it should be checked into even more thoroughly. Some have even offered to live their house, while they go home and attend to the business close at hand. Stay in the house for FREE, no charging on those kinds of dwellngs. Anyways, it tells me that they have a business in the their home country, whether it be India, or Morocco, or even Belguim. This email also says that they need trustng person's need only reply. Customers send (me) the amounts that is owed, and they pay it! Understood! These people are offering 10% of the amount that is paid, just so that you can cash the check, or Money order, or whatever, and for you to forward the money via mailgram, wire transfer, or whatever way is quickest, and simplist. So the decison was made, that there would another address that you would send your money to, and Oh but first, you would have to take your 10% out and then send the money to 'your boss' Wow, you would be getting paid before the boss would and to have someone that he can trust to have this money in possession to send out to him/her! I would say that that is alot of trust!

Anyways, these emails are coming in like its nobody's business. I am averaging oh about 5 a day, and everyone owns their own business. Has anyone actually responded to one of those kinds of ads?? On the serious side of this ... is.... ?

I think that if there is more money to be taken care of like that, I would at least give a try, to just inquiry within. What do you think about this? And would they have to send me to school for that? So, please advise when the bank is done, and all that good stuff.

Please,fill out the attached Account form and email back. We will take a look at all the applicants, and we shall see if you are the one for the job! That is alot of information to be giving out to someone that you do not even know, but yet, it is oK for companies and corporations to do this, take all of your personal information, and they even get to test our urine.. how about that? Anyways, has anyone one heard any 'Yays' or 'Nays' on one of these types of 'Offer's???? I would really like to hear from you... Is it Illegal? Is it a scam?

PE@CE!

I should not have went back and read... I am ready for the physical, really my own concern is with my branch will have to say, on monday!

Memorial, Legal, and No more Work?

Well, it seems that "http://bzbusiness.blogspot.com/" my son says it perfect, as to how the day of the Service went.

We had other things to take care of... some legal stuff that we have to file an answer to, and in the midst of all of that, Mr Fed Ex appeared at my door, and I received a paycheck, with my vacation, and last week's pay on it! Hmmm, I was termnated from my position? Sure does seem like it to me. I am attempting to get ahold of my HR person, to find out what the reason is. Enough of the crap with the manager at my branch. There has not been any comradere there, and I do not feel as if there has been any support, or at least the right type of support when a situation comes up. Is there still such a thing called 'Wrongful Termination'? Will update as I know more!

PE@CE!

Another Day of Finalization,AFC Championship!

Its Monday, and I tell ya, I had a very busy, busy day yesterday. I turned in the keys to the landlady, and we went out to Golden Gate Park, and had a picnic. Gina and Craig really went all out to have this event to be just right! We decided since there was no real official memeorial service for my brother, we decided to take a plant out of his backyard, and plant it in the park. The day went as planned, and we had our minutes of memorial. He is high on a hill in the Great park of Golden Gate. The kids and I had some closure, and it was all good. It was beautifully warm when we got out there. We started the grills, and started to eat. We also had the service, and the sun was just setting perfect on the hill. Right at that point, it got COLD.. we were all starting to get cold from the weather. Brrrrrrr

We got back to Gina's place, and oh wow, the AFC Champonship game was on, we decded to stay there to finish watching the final quarter of the football game. WOW, DaBears, and the Colts are gonna go the Super Bowl.. What a game that is going to be!

PE@CE!

You Would Think!

Yo', Today you would think that I would get alot of stuff done? Well, have you ever had one of those days, that you set out to get things accomplished, and.... then you realize that all you got accomplished was standing in lines, and WAIT!! Yepp, that is the kind of day that I had; Did not get much accomplished, but I tell you, the effort was there........lol...Gotta laugh about it, otherwise I would just be here in tears.

Tomorrow will be the last day that I will be going to Alameda, my brother's apartment. Thats it! I have to say that I am finished at some point, cuz you know it could just go on and on! I called all the utilty companies today to shut off, or end the service at his address. It was not as bad as the first two that I had to do. Wow, just a reminder to myself, that I have to make an appointment with the landlord over there, the last time I talked to her, was on Wednesday, and I was not doing so good, that day.

Yea... I shared alittle of what I am going through with my little brother. First time I have ever done that. I think it must shock him how much I can go through and somehow make it a positive thing. I met with Eva... the beneficiary's daughter... last night. There is a bigger language barrier with me and her mom, than I have with me and my folks. So, I decided that I would talk to Eva, instead. Told her what needs to be written in a 'statement' form, and to fax it to my brother, and then at that point, as the Death Certificate comes, both of the claims can be done on one certificate. In case she wanted to send it alone, I did leave her the information of what to do and where to send it.

I will be leaving alot there.. OH wait, we may just donate the rest of the stuff, to the same place that we donated the clothes. Hey, you know, I do not feel so bad that I would have to leave so much bigger items for the landlady to take of. I would have left it there, but, you know, that is not kewl, either. Anyways, I do feel better about finshing this project up! Yepp, I sure do. And I was telling my brother about it too! Its been a hard job, and someone had to do it... So, I did.

I did end up sending the landlord more money, like I normally do. He will see that I am not the one trying to mess him up on money. I just want to be pretty much left alone, and let me do my thing. With this court stuff, to me it is just like taking up my time. I wonder how many other people he does this to? I do have my personal feelings and opinions, but I have to keep them to myself. Shhhhhh... I think he is the most arrogant, and belittling person I have ever talked to, or met. I felt that the day that I met him. But to get affordable housing, one has to just shut my mouth. What really gets to me is that .... wooooooo him being the property manager, and we being the people renting from him, he can really say or do anything that he wants, we have to be at his mercy. Yea... like when he claims he did not get our rent in September, and did not tell us anything until our stove went haywire... told me another something else about him.

What is he really doing with my landlady's money? Borrowing on it, so that every time we call him, he is on some sort of vacation or something? Yea, I see alot of 'slick' in the guy, but I see right through him... I have met people like him before, and I just have that feeling. He knows how to pass judgement on people, that is for sure. He has demonstated it in conversations with me, that totally shocked me! Anyways, I do not want to get MAD... someone told me.. Get even! LOL

Then I think, Do I really want to live under those kinds of conditions? Someone like that is all about $$$ the almighty dollar$$$! Unfortunately, the majority of our society is like that, and is something that we all have to live with. Anyways, yes, I have kind of gave a guestamation of things that I could have sold, but gave to people that needed, instead... I could have made payment to him... But that is not how I am.. Maybe I should be, though,...... eh ? Time for some GUITAR HERO!!!

PE@CE!!

Its Friday

Happy Friday

As I have been sharing with you, What more can go on? At coolmama's corner.yahoo. I have expressed myself to a point where I just cannot seem to make things go right. I know that I need to take this all by the handle, and take care of it. What is it really that I am fighting for? I don't know! When things get to this point, where do you go, and what do you do?

I have to go file these court papers at the courthouse, and pay some more rent. So, um, and still call the utilties to disconnect the service at my brother's apartment. Its Days off, and is not really days off. I have so much to do! I guess I just better get with it.... No time to stop and think, at all. Now, is that a good thing? or a bad thing? Rent is paid. Does Discrimination apply in this case, I am not sure. This man that we have to call our landlord, has really made me think there the word, 'Slumlord' really exists! :(

PE@CE!

Today Be the Day, Scattering

So here I am, and was told yesterday, that the scattering will be done today. Ask me what time, and I could not tell you, as of this moment. I will attempt to call the Neptune Society, and they have to tell me at least what time he will be scattered at Sea!

Family Meeting!

Well, Some of you may know that I was pretty much summoned to a Family Meeting in reference to my brother's belongings, not so much any material things, but, more about his bank accounts, insurance policies (if Any), and any amounts due for utlities and/ rent... etc. mainly the first two! Earlier in the week, I mentioned that my sister had been asking my younger brother, Stan, for any updates from me... I had been reporting to him, pretty much my findings, and well, I explain to him what I have discovered, and when he tries to tell my sister, he feels that he is not explaining it correctly. He felt like he is blotching it up. I knew that something was not right about his questioning that day, and I had a feeling that my sister.... Well, I just said to him in a from of a question... (she) They don;t think that I know what I am doing, do they?

He answered with .... Well, I think that she wants to have a family meeting on all of this stuff. I thought if she wanted to know so badly, I thought that the meeting was
going to take place in the evening sometime during the week... I still have to finish up cleaning the apartment and stuff. I had made plans to meet some friends at the apartment that needed some tools, and my neice is real need of just general things, she just moved into a dfferent place.
Well, the next call I get from Stan is that the meeting was to be on Saturday morning... I expressed to him that I had made plans to meet people at the apartment in the morning. He knows that it needs to get done. She is just interested in the Ins money.

Anyways, I change plans for this FAmily Meeting, and rearrange my plans with various people. The meeting was to be at 10AM, and had to travel the different direction just for this! Okay, I will do this, cuz I am sure that my Dad has also been curious if there was any insurance or whatever. This morning, I start off my ride to the city... San Jo to San Fran....
As I am getting off the freeway in San Fran, I am getting a call at 10AM.. figured that they wanted to know how long I was going to be. I told them that I was pulling off the Freeway right now,, and will be there in about 10 min.. Well, it was my brother Stan, telling me that my sister was not going to make it. !

I said..Scuse Me? I'll be right there, Ok? He said that she could be on the phone, and Stan could expain everything as we go along. I said, ok whatever suits her. As I am going along showing him my findings, and explaining why I kept that item, whether it was the a bank statement, Insurance Policies, all.. of it. I handed over the bankcards, and possible pin numbers, and all that kind of stuff ie: Power bills, Telelphone bills, other utlity bills, Car Title and Insurance... and stuffs like that. There you are... you got it and with notes on them.. ones that I discontinued service...yadda yadda yadda....Anyways, my brother said that may be I should just keep all the paper work together so that we do not get them lost, or all over the place. ...And yes, Dad was sitting at the table listening in... He felt that he needed to be there since he is the next of kin and so on....

I heard my Dad say... Where is Gail? that be my sister... and was told that she had watch her daughter ........... ??? uhhhhh, okay.... ! We wondered why Gail had called this meeting and why she is not there. That is what Dad kept on saying. Kind of like.. in wonder.. and what a waste of time for all of us involved! So what I had thought on this matter, was true. That my sister just wanted to see if what I was telling my brother was true and in fact, and needed to see evidence of it. Well, maybe with her CPA husband knowing the California Law, that whoever is in possession of the policy, is the rightful 'owner' of the policy at that time. Of course he would not think that I would know something like that! But of course, she does not know that my son is learning law in his third year of college!

I wonder if I will be making any changes to my plans ever again for something that my sister needs to call as an urgent affair! I don't think so!

PE@CE!

More Finalization?

Well, My goodness, I have not posted the majority of the week... Wassup with that? Anyways, I have been going through alot of paperwork, and I am finding out that I am alot like my brother in so many ways. I chuckle at that.

Earlier this week, I had received a call from my younger brother, and he seemed like he had so many different kinds of questions for me, which really surprised me alot. Finally what really came down, was that my family does not think that I know what I am doing. Yepp, its not so much that he disagreed with what I said, it was a matter of the comment that he made, when I questioned him on something. He just said that it seems like I am blotching things up when Gail (my sister) asks what is going on, or something. He just said that maybe we should just have a family meeting, cuz Dad is asking about all the paperwork, as well. I have been letting my brother know what I have been discovering, and well, I had done that mainly so that I got myself in check with all of this stuff, you know?

I never realized just how much people really expect out of you, when... one is doing all that she can, but yet, it really is never good enough for someone in the bunch. What really gets me upset is that, they cannot do what I am doing. Going through my brothers' stuff. But yet they want to know what is going on... Fast enough.. but not fast enough for them. You know? Or for Her.. in this case.

This morning, I decided to call the phone company, and the cable TV people to cancel, or to have service discontnued. I did not realize how hard that was going to hit me until after I did it. I suppose, there will be a lot of these.. 'Feeling of Finalization'... eh? The phone number has been the same for years... and years, and well, It was rough to have to do that. I did not know that it was going to last all day, and even now, I am still feeling a lil down about it. But, as my daughter told me.. MOM, you are doing it for your brother, and out of respect for him, you are the one being strong about all of this.

Anyways, this weekend, I had made plans, yet again, to go over to my brothers' apt, and try to get all the things that need to get done over there, and kind of let the landlady know what is going on. Yes... I found his rental agreement, and the landlady called me and we talked. She knew that I was the younger sister, when she asked me, she said that my brother talked of me often. In kidding, I asked her what did he say about me... She said, Oh nothing, just that you can tell that you were his favorite. :)) Most of the paperwork has been sorted and some of it has been addressed, So when my brother mentioned the Family meeting, I expected it to be during the week, so that I can go finish the other. Well, because my sister said... Its going to interrupt my weekend to get things done. The meeting will be tomorrow morning, when I should really be at my brothers place to clean it up and stuff. ...another .

I think that I have it all together...As a matter of fact, I know I have gone though the paperwork that I have here. Its a matter of sorting them out and have them all together so I can explain it all. During this week, my voice has been rough, being that I am on the phones all day, at work, and then to talk to companies, and being directed to the right department, I've had to explain alot to more people than I ever have. Voice is pretty much gone.

I wonder if they have called anyone, of importance, like Social Security, or Who else is there to call? I do not know if he was working part time, lately or not. I have not really seen a direct deposit outside of his social security go into his accounts, so that makes me think that he was not working of recent, anyways.

Anyways, I hope for it to be a good day tomorrow!

PE@CE!

A Long and Stressfull Day!

Well, My kids and I went back to my brothers apartment today. I am still looking for the Insurance stuff, and anything else that maybe of inportance. I am so Overtired that I could not sleep. , I tell you.. I left my house at 8am this morning, and got back about 8pm... that makes for a long day.

I could not believe all the tools that he had. I mean, my goodness. Should we sell then? I mean, really.. .I do not have the room to keep any tools A drill, or something smaller than that ..well... it can cost you lots of money. When I looked in the garage, ..WOW.. and being that I work for a company that does distributes small hand tools, it really amazed me. Computers, TV's, some jem stones... I know that he was into various types hobbies, and stuff... and I can see that he did keep himself qute busy. :)) I called my younger brother about it when I realized just how much he has. Well, he told me that Dad does not want anything to do with his last pocession, and that I was to do what I wished with Wayne;s stuff.

He definately had a stocked kitchen. But, yes, he always did have a nice kitchen. He has a dehydrater, a couple of rice cookers, and you can see from the simple to the fanciier one. Crock pots, dishes, of course, he had convience, which I think is good to a point, I really do not know what to do with all of that. Water filtration pitcher(s) WOW is all could think. \

When I went up there on this past Tuesday, I know that I had to get the papetwork that my dad needed..... I really did not have a chance to look around in his apartment. Today the kids got to know their uncle a lil more than they had, and realized, that just because he lived so far .. Well. You know what mean. The kids found things from the past that surprised them. LOLOL.. they found a picture album, and it happened to be the my Mom and Dad;s wedding pictures, an wthin that photo album, there was aot of loose pictures. .LOLOLOL ... kids found a picture of me when I was in Kindergarden... Jeeeze, and to think that I would have never even thougt that I would see those pictures EVER again.....LOLL

Yes, they seen some pictures of acouple of my cousn;s weddings. I even forgot that those were even still around.. anyways, I am soooo tired, I am nodding at the wheel. OOOPSSS nodding in front of this compurte ......sooo off I go. wll update later ll\ I think tha I am used to driving again;))

PE@CE!

NO RSS YAHOO MOTHERDEVA

DEVA NO RSS, WHY?

Well I just wrote a lenghthy post on what Yahoo has done, again, I mean, and why I have resorted to 'Mind Squrts' so that I can link that page to the Yahoo 360 so that I can somehow keep in touch with my friends,and to meet other people. It seems that I attempted to add my RSS FEED to another site, and there are no posts on it.. it says. The Date on the RSS is Dec 31 1969!

And those of you that know that I have been attempting to join up with PayPerPost Can you believe that this the second Blogg, that I have submitted to them, and they see nothing. Now that I have pinpointed, and Identified at least maybe a little bit of the problem, I get a survey to answer for a response that I sent to them with an attachment of a copy of the screenprint. And now I just clicked the link from Mind Squirts for 'coolmama's corner.myspace', it decides to show up as a private Blogg! HELLLLLOOOOOO..... EVERYTHING HAS BEEN SET TO PUBLIC!!

YES, this the second Blogg.... NOT the second post... and both have been the 360 bloggs, do you wonder why I have resorted to other sites to Blogg ??? And have linked my other bloggs to here(Yahoo), just so that I know that my friends are seeing..what I am trying to share, and as well, with the new people that I am meeting.

Anyways... I will be posting this on my other bloggs, and I would really like to know if you are seeing anything?? I mean, I started these Bloggs to keep in touch with my Yahoo friends, mainly from the days of Music Rooms! And now I as I try to share with my friends, I really am not... cuz no one can see... or if ANYONE even tried to keep up with me by RSS FEED, you would think that I started this blogg when I was a teen........ Can Anyone see these ?? and Pls Comment on which ever blogg that you are seeing this NOTICE on ??

How many times do I have to check my settings??? I do not know anymore, who is seeing what, and who is not seeing ..what ???? And Hell Yes, I am pissed!. HAS THIS BEEN HAPPENING TO ANYONE ELSE????

PE@CE!

First Day back to Work!

Today was my first day back to work, since right before Christmas. Wow, I thought that I would be okay. I remember when I went to Dad's house, I just could not believe that I misplaced Wayne's ATM cards. Right now, the family is in need of some funds to take care of my brother. I went to the apartment yesterday, and as I said before, that there really is alot of old mail, and junk to go through. There has been alittle bit more information, so it has made things just a little easier. I sound a bit confused, here, don't I ?

This morning when I started to get ready for work, I was thinking that I should bring a garbage back out there and just put, at least all of the newspaapers, and then well... Pretty much just get myself phyched out to get to work. I lost my DL... OMG>>>>>>>>>>>> I looked every where, pretty much tore up my room. I was frantic, cuz I have not been driving, and well, I just like to know that I am legal, if I were to ever got stopped. People that have never got therr driving PRIVALEDGES taken away, do not know what its like.

Anyways, I went out to the car after I started to freak out inside. I insisted that that knew I had my license on me last night when I got home. Anyways, I called the job, and told them what was happening. I was starting to wonder if I was even going to be any kind of capable of working. Well, I found my DL in the car, in the manilla envelope that I thought I had the ATM"S in.. and found the ATM's on the floorboard of the car. .... what a relief.

It felt good to be back at work, and well, I did have my moments, so, it kinda weird. I know that any kind of normalsy of me probably isn't real normal, and I am glad that they understand. My manager has not been back yet, so I do not even know that she does not even know what is going on. I did send her an email the other day, and well, explained to her what was happening.

I think I am having a hard time, that there really is not going to be any kind of service for my Bro. He said that he wanted it simple, but, I think that simple meant at least cousins and close friends. You know ? I do not feel like there is that final closure. They (sister &Bro) say that Dad does not want to have anything, But I think that Dad needs to have that closure too. I was going to call one of my cousins this evening, who happens to be a pastor. I feel like I really cannot really talk to anyone.. well, I do not have anyone to 'mourn' with, or to talk to about my brother. This cousin that I am talking about is also one that was close to me and my brother... .it was him and his older brother, and me and mine , that were considered the BLACK SHEEP of the family...LOL. Even when we have gotten together, more recently, it just seems that we can still remember how everyone thought that us four were soooooooooo BAD!!! So Bad, that my grandmother, said, no matter what, she (me) is the one with the biggest heart. Yea, I was really surprised when someone told me that. I can be the BLACK SHEEP, but a black sheep with a good heart. :))

Anyways, I think I will call my cousin Ed, tomorrow, and just talk. Maybe he will know how to handle this, Then there are the cousins that we have in Georgia! Yepp you got that one right. At one of the weddings many moons ago, My Mom's stepsister, came up from Georgia, and you know, LOLOL, it struck me so funny, an old Chinese lady... with a Soutern DRaw, telling me that I ought to go down there and visit her sometime! That would be Augusta, GA! Yes, ma'am!

Anyways, enough for now. I went through more papers tonight that I found in the car, and actually found some insurance papers. I have to check it out. What I was actually reading was... an offer to ADD on to his current policy... So I do not know. Gosh, he really had alot of offers and information on insurance, but I suppose that really s a good thing, you know ? Anyways, I am gonna read alittle bit, and just try to get some rest. I suppose, I will be like this, til I feel comfortable enough to be,,,,,,,,,,,, regular ?

PE@CE!

Misc Firearms, Msc, Firearems

Sooo amoung his belongings, I find two (2) firearms, WHAT DO I DO WITH THEM?? I mean I do not have a permit to carry one of those things, and I have to admitt that I am not trained to use one, so I know defininately, that I should not posess one. So, what do I do with them?? Can anyone help me out on this matter?

I will be going back. I could not really find enough of the important paperwork that I was looking for. He has more paper than I do. There is alot of paper work to look through. I did not realize when my parents and sister and bro said for me to take the car........... That it was a BRand new Car... the trip setter 107 miles. I had to do a double take, when I was reading the registration..2006..... Honda CRV... And my parents said that I can have it? Wow... I was looking for the Lein holder or something.. but when I called the insurance company about it, wow,.... My brother owned that car straight outright. And it is insured until June.. So it was okay for me to take the car tonight. I do realize that, nothing can be done until the death certificare is presented and all that kind of stuff. But.... But.....

During the course of the afternoon, I called my younger brother to let him know what was going on ... and that at certain times, there was just a point that I just needed to take a break from all of that. He told me how much he appreciated for me doing this part of it, and admitted that he probably could not do it. And he thanked me! It was at that point that I felt that I was any kind of appreciated, and just knowing that I had to be the stronger one to do all of this, well.....

I do have to thank my kids for being here for me, and their friends as well. Today, I felt so all alone, that I was scared. To them, it was okay for me to break down. They knew what we were there to do, and they did alot. We donated his clothes to a non profit organization. That would be THREE Closets full of clothes. I know that he would have appreciated that. Come to find out that Dad had gven hm alot of his old clothes.. you know back in early 50's.. the trench coat.. and hat look, I have seen my dad in pictures dressed like that, back in the day.

This weekend, I will be going back there, to finish up what I had started. We will get an earlier start, and my daughter will be there, as well. She is the most organized person around, right now. So, that is the game plan, and I go back to work tomorrow. Only difference is that I will be driving in, instead of doing the publc transportation. Who know, I may just keep doing the public transportation, cuz driving home this evening was a BEAR! It started out in Oakland, then to San Francisco, and then to San Jose

I am kind of anxious to get back into the normal way of living, work, home, dinner, and whatever... you know... very smple kind of stuff.

PEACE!

What to expect?

Well, here it is the day that I really have not been looking foreward to. The day that I have to go to my brother's apartment. I have already been warned by the deputy, what to expect when I go in there.

I am trying to be as organized as I can about this. but I do not know if it is well enough. I do have a folder that I have to gather any of his important papers. I know that I have not slept well, and if it were not for my kids, I think I have been eating ok. Wow... I am just on here so that I can just write out my feelings. know that I am scared. I have already been told that, really, I do not need to be afraid. I am doing something that will, at the end, help out my parents. It would probably harder time on them at this, especially at their age.

Anyways, I suppose I had just better get ready to do this. If I continue to procrastinate... It will just be harder on me. I have my son right here to assist me what ever I need to do. I do have a list of things that I need to look for. I will be okay. I keep thinking in my brain, that there must be a reason for me to have to do this. I must remember that Death is a part of Life.

PEACE!

Happy New Year!

I would like to wish everyone a very happy and prosperous NEW YEAR ! ***hugggsss ***

PEACE!